Understanding love languages

Your love language is how you show and like to be shown love. Understanding your love language will help you understand why you behave the way you do in relationships. This includes what you value in a relationship and why you might get upset when your partner does or does not do something in particular. Understanding your own love language is helpful but it’s also helpful to understand your partner’s love language. Understanding how each of you shows love and likes to be shown that you’re loved will help you communicate your love to each other. That’s why it’s called a love language – it’s about communicating with each other!

What are the Love Languages?

Dr Gary Chapman identified 5 main types of love languages. You may like to receive love in one or multiple love languages.

  1. Acts of service – if this is your love language, you value when your partner helps you without being asked.
  2. Receiving gifts – you value giving and receiving physical tokens that show thoughtfulness.
  3. Quality time – you value giving and having someone’s whole attention with no distractions.
  4. Words of affirmation – verbally communicating your love, appreciation and encouragement
  5. Physical touch – you value being touched and touching your partner. This includes both sexual and non-sexual touch.

How to show someone you love them based on their love language

Your partner’s love language may be different to yours. Not understanding each other’s love languages can lead to disappointment if a certain act of love is valued by you but not by your partner. Being aware of each other’s love languages means you can communicate your love to them in a way they’ll appreciate and vice versa. So how can you show your love to your partner based on his/her love language? Here are some ideas!

  1. Acts of service – this can be as simple as helping your partner carry in the grocery shopping or stopping on your way home to pick up milk. A great idea you could try this week is to do their laundry. Don’t forget you can include their easy-care Candis pretty underwear in the regular weekly wash. The key to this love language is that the act is helpful and done without being asked.
  2. Receiving gifts – you can give gifts any time; you don’t have to wait for an occasion. The key to this love language is that the gift is thoughtful. For example, if your partner loves pretty lingerie and wishes she could wear it every day, buy her a pair of Candis cotton and lace undies! This shows her you are aware of her passion for lace lingerie but want to give her something she’ll also find comfortable and can feel special wearing every day.
  3. Quality time – first step is to put your phone down! Quality time can be a date night or simply talking together without the TV on or looking at your phones. It could also be fun like a game night! But the key to this love language is that your attention is undivided.
  4. Words of affirmation – say often how much you love and appreciate your partner. Compliment her when she’s made an effort. Say things like, ‘Wow! You look beautiful in those nice panties today!’
  5. Physical touch – this can be sexual or non-sexual touch. It also includes public touch like holding hands.

Showing your partner you love them using his/her love language doesn’t have to be a big gesture. It can be as simple as taking time to hug your partner when you get home from work or surprising them with a pair of Candis women’s underwear when it’s not their birthday. The key is to make the effort to communicate love to each other in ways you appreciate.